I wish i was in the wii world.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
