we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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