Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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