so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
