i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
