there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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