I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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