Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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