So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
