I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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