too bad you live with your parents still
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They took my balls.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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