Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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