worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
