I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
