you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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