i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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