I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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