The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
