I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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