he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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