Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
