Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
