my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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