I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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