We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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