white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
