A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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