How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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