I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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