Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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