whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
