We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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