lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
