we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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