someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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