It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
