just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
