There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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