i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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