a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
