u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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