If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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