you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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