I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
