I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
