There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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