The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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