but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i drank out of a bidet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
