Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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