He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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