you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
