omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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