she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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